Socratic Pine Tree

There is Healing in Understanding


When you gonna read about narcissism and such, would it not be great when all that jargon would be explained? Most writers don't make an effort of doing that. Well, i'm not most writers, so... I did it for you. Or rather, i'm in the process. Still gotta translate some....


Daffodill: You'll think, what does that have to do with Narcissism ? Everything. In Dutch, we call the Daffodill "Narcis". You can see by the latin name: 

Narcissus pseudonarcissus (commonly known as wild daffodil or Lent lily) is a perennial flowering plant. This species has pale yellow flowers, with a darker central trumpet. The long, narrow leaves are slightly greyish green in colour and rise from the base of the stem. The plant grows from a bulb. The flowers produce seeds, which when germinated, take five to seven years to produce a flowering plant. (Sexual [seed] reproduction mixes the traits of both parent flowers, so if garden hybrid cultivars are planted close to wild populations of Narcissus pseudonarcissus, there is a danger that the new seedlings, having hybrid vigour, could out-compete the wild plants.) (Source Wikipedia)

Narcissist: somebody suffering from narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissism: a natural coping mechanism providing healty egoism, taking care of us being competative and ambitious, that motivates us and takes care of us having a need for respect and recognition.

Narcissus: Hunter from ancient Greek mythology (Ovidius) who was known for having no interest in love, but eventually fell in love when he saw his reflection in a pond. He became so sad that he could not be with the one he desired that supposedly he cried till he died and where he died a flower bloomed that we (the Dutch, not you silly English speakers :-P ) would call a Narcis.

Narcissistic: Based on narcissism (see: narcissism)

Narcissistic personality disorder: A personality disorder characterized by a subconscious competative (en thus defensive) mindset, that causes the person suffering from it to often respond narcissistic to situations that do not justify this and for which the causes as is generally believed are found in very early childhood as wel as in genetics.

Resource, supply: often a partner, but what a lot of people do not realize is that a Narcissist van have a lot of recourses and that those do not always have to be people. Children and friends can be recourses, but so can a job or a hobby. Even something abstract as a scientific theory can be a recourse. Frankly everything a Narcissist can identify with and doing so, derive their self-worth from.

Golden Child: Person (often own child) that has been given the doubtful honor to meet the high expectations of the Narcissistic parent. Failure is no option. Often spoiled, but also under enormous psychological pressure of never being good enough.   

Scapegoat: Person (regularly own child) in the Narcissists environment that often get's blamed for things that go wrong, even if it's not their fault, is being humiliated and degraded. Can do nothing right. The opposite of the Golden Child

Flying Monkies: Persons in the Narcissist's environment they manipulate into doing their dirtywork. 

Narcissistic wound: Psychological weakness that occurs when someone knows to break through the Narcissist's protective fals self. Often with enormous emotional consequences for the Narcissist themselves. 

Narcissistic Rage: Explosion of anger, comparable with that of a 5-year old that completely loses their contole over their anger.  All rationality goes down the drain and what remains is one big pieces of emotion in the body of and directed by the intelligence of a full grown adult. Almost exclusively caused by a Narcissistic Wound. 

Love-Bombing: This pretty much literally describes that it is: The Narcissistoverwhelms the partner with love, attention, sweetness etc. Often in the first part of the relationship, but also common in later episodes of the relationships, after things have been not so good for a while. 

Devaluating: i.m.o a bad name as it implies an active process from the narcissist, but this is not true. It is pretty much a passive process that just happens as a result of the narcissistic cycle, and therefor the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship. It is the "2nd" stage of the narcissistic relationship in which the narcissists starts to notice the imperfactions of the partner.  

Discarding: "stage3" of the narcissistic realtionship circle. Where the Narcissist cuts ties with the partner, be it temporary or not. 

No-contact: A way to real with being seperated from the Narcissist. Having absolutel not contact what so ever, but explicitly not being the Narcissists choice.

Silent treatment: One of the ways in which a Narcissists punishes someone for their perceived  'misbehavior' : ignore this person for an unknown period of time. Often also vanish out of their life for that time. This is a way of psychological maltreatment.

Grey Rock: A way of handeling separation from the Narcissist when no-contact is not pussible or undisireable. The other person limits themselves to the absolute minimum communication and  pretends to be a completely uninteresting grey rock that nobody would even think about picking up to observer closer. 

Gas Lighting: A way of manipulation bases on distributing half truths, partial information, lies, denial, and contradictions in such ways that the story can be mend and bend in the narcissists advantage and other persons or person starts thinking they are losing their minds. Named after the movie "Gas Light" (1944)

Real / Primary Self: The Narcissists initial "self", absent, empty, or filled with traumas. Without or just very little self worth.

False / Secondary Self:  The Narcissists makeshift Self. Derived from everything and everyone that the Narcissists wants to identify with. Narcists project the perceived value from those sources onto themselves in the solid conviction that others will perceive them the same way. The Narcissist sees them selves that way afterall. Narcissists themselves are not capable of seeing through this. They don't know better than that they are who they pretend to be. That narcissist is unaware of the fact that he / she is a narcissist. They are permanently delusional.

Malignant Narcissist: Someone that displays a combination of narcissistic and anti-social behavior. 

Cluster B: One of three groups in which personality disorders are divided in the most used  psychiatric standard work, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders  (DSM) . The B cluster is the cluster with personality disorders that concern emotionregulation and impuls controle issues. Sometimes called with a little black humor: the annoying men cluster (opposed to cluster A: the aliens and cluser C: the nagging house wifes.)